Brents' Fine Poetry

Rain, rain go away

So a full game we can fuckin play

The play of the Brewers was putrid to start

As if we were overcome by a stale beer fart

A first inning slam gave the opposing team a lead

Freddie did a special dance at first like he hadn't peed

Too bad Larry's early scouting report proved wrong

He must have been hittin one too many a bong

Darrin bitched his glasses were wet- What a wussy!

He redeemed himself by going home and pounding that pussy

The return of Fitch gave the team a charge

He spent the first part of the season just livin large

The Brewers drank beers in a can not a glass

Our newest fan has a really tight ass

The dike umpire cunt said after this inning your through

How the hell could she take the fun from the Crew?

Mike and the Haigmeister combined on a seventeen hitter

Brent needed to pinch a loaf declaring "I'm headed to the shitter"

A young man named Walsh turned out to be the star

He took home the trophy in his fucked up Sconny car

...and last thing for the night, hats off to Bill Voigt tonight for showin up, knowing he's in fact blood related to Mike Voigt, and still having the gall to present himself in front of other living human beings!

I think we've had some great brother moments in the last few years on the Brewers, and that is an important life lesson! Like the time Joe Hargreaves, brother of Dan, showed up, as the brothers went a combined 4-7 and then filled an entire trash barrell with Pure 100% Hargreaves Pee...or when Darin's brother showed up and played with the sky blue and urine yellow Brew Crew and showed us some uploaded pictures of Darin taking a dump on his old HS hockey jersey the night he got benched for telling the coach he had a masturbating injury from the night before...

The things we'll never forget folks.

Priceless.

Twas 2nd last week of softball, and all 'cross McMurray,
Were hot dogs and skeeters and Bobs Brat slidin fury...
Beers were ice cold,
Jokes of kinkiness were told,
And the Voigts sure did leave in a hurry.

Well folks, it has quickly and stupidly and dumbly and untimely untimely...come to this: the last week of the softball year. (it's not for another week).

A sad day it will be.

Yeah, right! It will be glorious, showered in the victory dance of a possible victory(or not)!

Come one, come all...bring the kids, bring the baby, bring the dog, bring Bob, Zach if he needs a ride, some hustle, some ice, some ketchup and some mustard and some sliced up onion if you don't bike to the park(just kidding, I got this: I'm bring little slivers of onions, to celebrate Bob's hustle and Darin's enthusiasm for sandboxes(I don;t know what that means)!

There's a circus in town, and it's a bunch of commoner, about average softball playin life hounds who will be there...or they will be square, like softballs are not.

The game tonight had the itch of a comeback, down 7-1 and brewed as close as 7-5 before the wheels of the barrell went round and round and down the hill...but the hill was mighty, and we drank beers(on the side of that hill) until the mosquitos started freeloadin beers out of our veins like rabid leeches on an injured whale! (for those of you that don't know, that's serious sh!t)....

So, strap on your drinking belt, tie up you sippin shoes, and wear your smokin cap...cuz next week, the Real Brewers show up, the whole damn lot, and we'll do it up for ya'll real nice....right in the CAN!

Rainy Game

It was a shitty rainy game but the Brewers kicked the can and WON!

Larry wins for being such a stud...

Softball Geeks

Fred Wins the Beer Can Trophy!

Not a Bachelor Anymore

0.10

Yep, 0.10

Darrin's a Winner . . . No Really Darrin's a Winner

There is a youtube video somewhere explaining how Darrin became a Winner.

Bobby Marking His Territory

Trophy Signing

It's necessary to pucker your lips when you sign the trophy!

Aw Shit . . .

Aw Shit Larry dropped his brewski on the field... Glad we had about 80 left . . .

What The . . .

This was from a few weeks back. Look at that long stride Larry's sportin'

Old Men In Jeans

The Brewers took on the Old Men and the Jeans last night...and it was uglier than hemorrhoid bleeding through a pair of wranglers: Real. Uncomfortable. Softball.

Seriously folks, that was brutal.
Not even ice cold beer and a tri-fecta of tasty grilled snausages could save the Real Brewers from an embarrassing 11 run, 10 run rule shortened contest vs Kierran and the Cane Clan...

What made the contest so ugly? Mainly that the Levi Legged Lads outhit, outfielded, out pitched, outran, but NEVER outdrank the Stay up to Late Brewers and their poor attempts at somewhat decent softball.

A few key notes from the game: Darin snagging his balls at 3rd, Haig taking a Macauly Culkins Dad line drive off the hand(but catching the ball), Nick making a makeshift trophy out of Mickey's bottles and beer cans and medical tape, Freddie staying up way past his bedtime, the glow of fresh mustard nestled into Bob's beard, Darin roasting himself in the woods(post game), ice cold beer, Twins Suck talk, Larry's fantastic starts to stories that ramble so far off the path that the endings are never told, Schmidts beer farts, Beer Can Basketball, accompanied by gourmet Italian bread, all the while doing things that get teenagers grounder for eons..


Looking forward, the Real Brewers play host next week to some other team...no matter how good or bad that team is, only one thing is known about next weeks matchup: WE will spend more time at the park than the other team, and we will do more things that will make our mothers frown...as for the softball, well, not tearing knee ligaments, getting your face split open, or acquiring a bruise darker than a black steer's toukis on a moonless prairie night is a victory we can all celebrate!

-Ben

Oh, Sweet Victory for our Weekly Champ!

What exactly is that trophy top?

Super Fantastic

This Weeks Grand Prize Winner Is . . .

BOB

Holy Shit if you missed it, but I've never seen Bob run so fast! It was crazy and he deserved this weeks trophy. We did get stiffed however as he replaced our usual venison with hot dogs...

I wish I had video of it...but get this, somewhere in Como Park, a squirrel has a story to tell:

I riding home last night on my bike...a little intoxicated? Sure. It was 12:45 in the AM.

I took a path that I thought might be a short cut.

It wasn't...it took me up to the zoo...

So, I rerouted and started down the grassy hill, focusing on the road...to my right I saw a pole...so I made note to stay to the left of it...to my left I saw another poll....I made not to go between them...

SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right into a chain linked fence! Lucca and his backpack, yard saled on the grass in Como Park...

Ouch.

Grassed myself off, got back on the bike, went around the fence, and started cruising down the hill again...

Once I got to the road, there was a curb...I hit it....POP......PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.....POP...........PSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....

2 flat tires and I had top walk the rest of the way.

Lesson learned: Don't drink and try to take shortcuts through Como Park on your bike.

If I had that on video, ya'll would pee your pants....

Beautiful Night

This Clinches It...

Larry has an agreement with the park guy that we can now store our grill in one of the park outbuildings... Might be legit....

Strategy Discussion #2

Strategy Discussion

Passing of the Trophy

Passing of the Trophy is so sentimental...

Dudes

The Kung Fu Master

Game # 3 5-11-11 Brewers vs Capital City WIN
Scott slid into 3'rd base bare legged... yes he did...

The Entire Brewers Team Congratulates Scott for his Stellar Performance ! ! ! !

Winner of the "Brent Trophy" is...

Game # 2 5-4-11 We WON

Holy Crap! Look at the pride in that 'thar mug shot. How did we get so lucky to have Brent...

Winner of the 'Brent Award' is Brent... Ah, we have such a good team...

Handsome Devil

The Real Brewers Blog

Hello Fellow Brewers,

It's almost gametime!